The Insidious Root

Wherever three or more are gathered together in community, there will be gossip.

I have yet to see community operate perfectly without there being some sort of gossip. One travel guru suggests, "When traveling with friends, never travel with more than one." They go on to suggest that the worst combination is three girlfriends. The root cause of this is that whenever we engage in life with other people there will be offense taken on some particular issue. If there are only 2 people on a deserted island, where will one go to complain about an offense? There is only one option and that is the healthiest choice.

What is it about people that when we feel that we have been wronged we feel that it is necessary to tell other people about the wrong? Why do we insist on sharing other people's faults in order to make ourselves look better? Why do we value self over others?

I would suggest a couple of options beyond my mother's advice of, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." When dealing with hurt and offense there are really only two options but the above saying suggests another option that is quite unhealthy. It is never good to bury pain, hurt, and offense. However, if the pain is but a mere flesh wound, might we just forgive the person for their stupidity and move on? Or, must we confront them and let them know that they offended us and inform them of their moronic behavior? Is it my job to inform everyone of their failings?

So option number one is not just to be quiet and say nothing at all, but it is to ask oneself, "Can I easily forgive this person for this mistake?" I cannot blow my horn at every single person who offends me only to say, "I forgive you," at the next light. It would be best to forgive quickly, be slow to anger and abounding in love.

But, what about those hurts as the result of blatant sin against the community? How do we deal with those offenses that are caused by obvious sin? This is where we need to go directly to the person and state our case, and regardless of whether they ask for forgiveness, forgive them their wrong against us. However, if the action persists or the person continues in the same sinful behavior against others, it is best to bring in a mutual friend or authority into the discussion. If the person persists still? Let the mutual authority deal with it.

But, what about the person who comes to me to complain about someone else's offense against them? Ask them if they have addressed the individual who wronged them, or are they asking you to go with them to address the person? If they continue in the sin of gossip and you approve of it, you have become guilty of the same sin even if you do not engage in spreading the offense.

I strongly believe, that if we engage in these two principles, we could vacation together!

So, anyone want to go to the beach with me and a few of my friends?

Further readings: Matthew 17, Philippians 2, and the rest of the Bible!