The Trouble with the Self-Righteous

The conversation of our discourse this week had to do with the calling of Levi - the tax collector. We looked at the trouble with the self-righteous vs. those who recognize their need for a savior. The question I received after the service was "How can we resolve conflict with a self-righteous believer?"

The trouble with the self-righteous is that they don't believe they have done anything wrong. Their morality is based upon popular opinion and comparisons with others. Self-righteous people are not necessarily righteous - in fact I would argue that they are the least righteous. They do not realize that they are in the wrong and they believe they are better than most.

Lest we begin to point the finger at "those" people, let me first say that all of us are self-righteous. This is why more than 80% of all drivers believe that they are an "above-average" driver. We love to call people hypocrites - or posers - or actors (they all mean the same thing). However, to do so is to be one yourself.

Might I suggest that the best way to resolve conflict with a self-righteous person is to first recognize that the conflict is probably your fault - not theirs. If you are convinced that the problem is not you but the other person is convinced it is you, then that is when a third party is involved. This is why Jesus tells us to confront someone individually first, then with someone else.

I once was asked to go with someone to confront them - suprisingly it ended up being that the person who asked me to come was the problem in the relationship. Hmmm...

Someone said to me after church, "My self-righteousness is found in my belief that I am not self-righteous and I tend to judge those who are self-righteous and that is my self-righteousness." That is the reality - humility is the opposite of self-righteousness. But humility is not to be self-abasing, but the recognition of who we really are. Jesus was never self-abasing but was the most humble person to walk the earth.

May we be people who serve Christ in humility - knowing who we are and how we got here. This will go a long way toward the resolution of conflict.