Practicing Grace

It has been said that it is easy to be a saint when other people are not around. Other people have a way of getting under our skin and showing the depths of our soul.

So I went to a baseball game last night. We were blessed with the opportunity to sit on the terrace and have a meal. Some of the seats are good and others are not so good, but each terrace is first come, first served. It is a great family atmosphere until it starts to rain - and the beer begins to flow.

It started to rain in about the second inning and by the third it was getting everything wet. Many people got up, picked up all their stuff and left - so I thought. I moved closer where I could actually watch the game without standing up. In the fourth inning, the rain stopped and suddenly these same people wanted their seats back. Now, if I had taken a jacket, purse, or even a $2 program and moved it, I would think that their request was reasonable. Did I tell them that our old seats were available and we had even cleaned up after ourselves? No, I just moved back.

It was now the fifth inning, the rain had stopped some time earlier and there was a whole bunch of room behind me, but in another terrace. So I moved. After one inning, a man from a different table came over and told us that this was his table and chairs and we had to move. But we weren't really even at the table and we had brought chairs up from our terrace and were sitting in the empty space next to the table. Did I tell him all of this? No, I just moved.

Finally, in the seventh inning, I found a table that had been vacant since the third inning. Once again, I sat in a wet chair and dried off another chair. I now realize that I was being used to dry off the chairs of strangers - a service. But, this time I was able to enjoy the rest of the game, a dry seat and the fireworks. After the game, I was the one upset at the person who let two cars go in front of them when we all know that you only have to let one go!

This morning, my wife was cursed at by the cashier at the supermarket because she wanted change for the yard sale. And when she apologized for making her job difficult, all she received was a roll of the eyes.

Is it just us, or does it seem like everybody is angry? Maybe, there is more to their stories. Maybe we need to listen to what is going on deep down inside of them. Either way, all we can be responsible for is our own response. I just had a good laugh at those people who value their temporary property - actually all property is temporary. It didn't seem appropriate to get into a counseling session at the game! But, I can practice grace in how I respond.

The Discipline of Waiting

Believe it or not, there have been a few people who have asked me when I was going to post my next blog. I just wanted each of you to learn the discipline of waiting! Seriously, I have not been very disciplined lately with writing for a multitude of reasons of which I am sure you could care less.

I am building a garage. In order to build a garage in the United States, there are more things to do that seem utterly meaningless. Why does City Zoning care about the size and shape of a driveway, or what material will be used? And, why does it really matter whether the eve is 20 or 24 inches, and only on one side? And, why does one department count the stairs as habitable space and the other department, the one that should care, not count it? And why don't they tell you everything you need the first time you go in?

The Answer: The Regional Building Department and City Planning are really concerned about my spiritual well-being.

I personally need to understand the discipline of waiting and my latest journey is reminding me how undisciplined I am in this area. I get bored very quickly while waiting for someone else to make a decision. Is this really a spiritual issue? I believe it is.

It goes back to being a person who is more interested in results rather than the process. My architect keeps saying, the further you get into the process the more clear the finished product will become. But, if the result becomes the driving force, then frustration, disappointment, anger, and other emotions will consume you. How many of us get frustrated with God's work in us? Or, how many of us get angry with Him about the trial we are enduring?

So, I am trying to move my old garage. There are 8 different departments that have to sign off on the journey. Oh, yeah, and the Regional Building Department is one of them - seems that they want to know whether or not you have a permit for the new location.

Patience gives you the ability to enjoy the journey. A lack of patience, well, take it from me, it is not a good place to live.

Integrity & Authenticity

Lately I have heard a great deal of comments about integrity and authenticity. Many people use the words interchangably and insist that they are the same. Some blame power and isolation as the cause of corruption.

Power in and of itself does not corupt, but it reveals the corruption of one's character. Absolute power reveals the depth of one's corruption.

Fear reveals the level of consistency in one's life. If one acts without fear is one who knows that the person they are in private is the same person they are in public. But, just because someone is authentic, does not make them fearless unless they are consistent.

If one consistently admits to a certain set of values and then acts inconsistently with those values in private and publicly - they lack integrity. They also act in fear that their actions will one day demand an account.

Character and action moving in consistency with one another in public and in private without fear equals integrity.

If you were handed a great deal of power, how would it affect the way you acted out? In other words, if you knew there was nobody who could touch you for your actions, how would you live?

A man of integrity with absolute power, I believe, would rap a towel arround his waist and serve those who are willing to be served.

Is It Relative?

I have a lot of relatives. You know, those people who have weird mannerisms that we ourselves start emulating the older we get!

Some of my relatives are nice, some are grumpy, some became relatives by my choice and others because of no fault of my own! Marriage has a way of uniting whole clans together. When I chose Terasue to be my wife, I also chose her family. Funny thing though, I only asked her parents - I didn't ask her siblings. After I proposed, I asked for my parents' blessing - probably should have asked their permission. Good thing they like Terasue!

Marriage is a symbol of our relationship with God! The Roman Catholics so value marriage they consider it an actual Sacrament. I don't think of marriage as an ordinance of the Church, but I do see marriage as a holy, ordained of God, institution that is more than a union between a man and a woman. It is a statement of the Church's union with Christ Himself.

He asked for the Father's permission and for the Holy Spirit to seal the union. He also asked for our hand in marriage. He is asking us to join His family - The perfect Communion. And, He has gone to prepare a place for us in His Father's House.

Maybe I should really take this to heart in my daily life. Maybe I should love my wife the way Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for Her. Maybe I should value my union with Christ the same way I value my union with my wife. Maybe I should think about the things with which I unite Christ.

Jesus chose to invite us to become a part of His Family. He demonstrated that He was willing to be a part of ours as well by becoming Flesh among us. But, that doesn't mean that He likes being related to our unions. The Apostle Paul says, "Don't unite yourself to a prostitute for that is to unite Christ to a prostitute!" But, it is not just prostitutes, we need to be careful what things we make "relatives" of Christ.

Maybe we just make Christ relative rather than considering the way we make Him a relative of our sin.

Why Are We So Angry?

That person on the road who just cut me off! Then there was that pot-hole that just threw my car out of alignment. Then there was a line at the coffee shop and I had to wait for my coffee. Then my favorite corner was occupied by this group of moms and their kids who were throwing their toys. Then there was this guy who was controlling the conversation with his school partner by speaking louder than a deaf guy on a cell phone with a bad connection.

So, why are we so angry all the time?

Maybe it is because we depend upon the people around us to make us happy. What if external circumstances didn't control us? What if we were centered on Christ and our identity in Him?

I tend to get angry at the situations that I cannot control. Whether it is my children, my wife, my church, or even my friends. When I come to the realization that I cannot control them I become angry. I guess that is a sign of emotional immaturity. So, I yell at them! It makes me feel better but does nothing for the situation.

So, why do you get angry? It is probably not "righteous indignation!"

Oh yeah, the coffee shop newspaper was under all the mom's purses and their coffee cups!

Directions? Why? I'm Not Lost!

I have never been lost. Why? Because, I am a man. Men are never lost – misguided maybe, but never lost. To admit that I am lost is to somehow admit that I am less of a man. I will admit that it is taking longer to find my destination, but I am not lost!

I recently went to Ohio to visit family. There are no mountains in Ohio; there are lots of hills and trees. The only landmarks are giant water towers that are visible for miles. I suddenly became aware of the compass in our car. That is a handy piece of equipment in Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, and Kansas.

A compass is not what keeps us from getting lost, but it sure helps. Some of us have landmarks in our lives that make the compass less of a necessity. These landmarks may be parents, friends, experiences, or traditions. None of these last forever; nor are they always relevant. Someday you won't be able to see Pikes Peak. At that point, you will need a compass.

You can build a compass that will always point you to True North. This compass is built with friends who will speak truth into our lives – authentic, transformational community. How accurate is your compass? Does it point someplace other than True North? Do you have people that can help you use the compass properly?

Making the Bed

Why make the bed? I will get into it within 24 hours and have to repeat the process again?

Before I was married, I rarely, if ever, made my bed. I honestly did not see the point. It is my bed, nobody else uses it, and my bedroom is where I go to sleep. Yes, we spend more time in this room than any other room in our houses, but we are asleep - in our bed, messing it up. Besides, there is really no point of anyone else even coming into your bedroom anyway. The topic of why other people would be in one's bedroom is not the topic of this particular blog.

So, why make the bed?

I have come to the conclusion that it is for no other reason than discipline. To discipline is to teach, shape or form. When a parent disciplines their children, their goal is to shape, mold, form, and teach the child - never to control them. Some parents make their kids make the bed just so that they can feel in control of their children. But, others have a plan that is more about forming, teaching and molding their children.

I have concluded that I must make the bed, not for my benefit, but for my wife's benefit. She does not like to get into an un-made bed. So, when I am the last one out of bed, I make the bed. For years, I would make it the way she made it. I would tuck the sheets and fold them back over the blanket, fluffing and placing the pillows perfectly. I wonder, was she shaping me, molding me, disciplining me for the past fifteen years? Probably. But now, I make the bed quickly (no folding, tucking, fluffing, or placing) and she doesn't complain, so everything must be okay! So who has been disciplined!

But I digress. There are many things in life that seem meaningless, but if we do them for the benefit of others they serve to discipline us, mold us and shape us into the people that God intended us to be. Even better, if we do them as though it is for God, it brings meaning to our mundane lives.

So, take joy in making your bed.

Navel Watching

Have you ever been navel watching? No, I am not referring to oranges.

Each of us has embarked on the endeavor of inspecting our own navels. For some it is quite easy, but for some of us, well it is a little more difficult. Each night after I wear a cotton shirt I have to inspect my navel to make sure the lint build-up is at a tolerable level. My level is much higher than that of my wife, so she generally avoids looking at my navel. However, if she happens to notice the lint that seems to be growing out of my navel, well I am quickly rebuked!

Before you are totally grossed out by this discussion, let me get to the point. All of us tend to get focused upon our own navels and enjoy our navel watching excursions. It is fun, at times, to become introspective and think about ourselves. God can even use these times to guide and direct us into a more fruitful life.

However, we quickly slip into navel watching and run into a wall. We must certainly clean the lint out of our navels, but never at the expense of those around us. I cannot think of one person who would enjoy watching me clean out my navel!

The Apostle Paul said something to this effect, “Don’t get so focused upon yourself and what benefits you that you forget about the people around you. In fact, you should consider the people around you as more important than yourself.”

Jesus also said something similar to this, “Get your eyes off of yourselves so that you might see all the people around you and their need for Me.”

Narcissism is a disease that will destroy community. But even beyond, it separates us from our Creator. And if you are so narcissistic to see the need for others or a Creator, let me suggest this – it’s even bad for you. Narcissus wouldn’t leave the pool because he was so in love with his own reflection. May I never become so enthralled with my own navel.

Mediocrity and Meritocracy

One of my favorite bumper stickers out there is about Citizens of the Month. No, it is not the one about my kid being the Citizen of the Month - its the other one, "My kid beat up your Citizen of the Month."

Not that I encourage beating up Citizens of the Month, but in my experience those were ridiculous awards that were passed around the class - not based on merit but from the mindset that every kid should be recognized as a Citizen of the Month, or at the very least Citizen of the Week.

Not dissimilar is keeping score at a little kids soccer game and then giving trophies to everyone at the end - why did we keep score again? There was a league in which my kids were involved; they didn't keep score - but the kids did!

Without a meritocracy nobody knows whether they are good or not. It is kind of like each person deciding what is good and meritorious for themselves. This sounds "good" but then each person should also be able to determine what is not evil. So, that means Hitler was a saint and a God who just wants people to be "True to themselves" must welcome Charles Manson into His heaven.

But, God did set up a meritorious system by which a person might know how they measure up to His standards. All of creation follows this system and some call it Karma, others call it "Reaping what you Sow." The point is, God has a standard of good that He established to separate it from evil. It is found mostly in the Older Testament of the Bible.

So, those who are good enough should enter heaven right? Wrong. That would not be fair. If it was strictly meritorious as most religions are, only those of privelege have the best opportunity to earn the right to enter heaven. You know these priviledged people: those people whose parents were good, who were given the opportunity to study good, and were intelligent enough to figure out good. But, God set up a meritorious system!

Yes, He did, but only to demonstrate that we do not measure up to His standard. Instead of being a meritorious system it became one that is the most fair - a free gift to all who receive Jesus as Lord.

Funny how we love meritocracies so much that we try and make Christianity one.

Caring for Bambi

I sat in the coffee shop this morning and listened to a discussion about what kind of chicken farm is best for the environment. The discussion ranged from what kind of chicken is healthiest to what was the best chicken for eatin'. Personally I like it grilled.

Needless to say, my comments were not registered since the most I know about raising chickens is that I once dated a girl whose dad owned a chicken farm in Georgia. Oh yea, in Ecuador I ate a "range" chicken - once. It was the toughest white meat I have ever eaten, but it was boiled not grilled. I much prefer "range" guinea pig to "range" chicken.

But I digress. Bambi and the rest of the environment need protection, not only from us, but I suggest that it needs protection even from itself. Managing the environment is like juggling. We need certain resources from the environment in order to live, but we cannot consume the environment. You leave an environmental footprint upon this planet whether you want to or not. Some of those who seek to protect the environment seem to destroy it in the process. We all leave footprints wherever we go.

So, what does this have to do with the church?

If we were called to have "dominion" over the earth, this inherently demands that we act as stewards of our environment. It is not unlike money. Some of us are investors and others are consumers. If we would recognize that the land is not ours any more than our money is ours, it should change the way we use the land. We are but managers, not owners. God is the owner we just serve Him. We are not called to be hoarders or consumers - our job is to be managers and investors for the future.

So, whether you drive a Hybrid, an SUV, eat range chickens or buffalo is irrelevant. The issue is much deeper - are you an investor in or a consumer of the environment?

I Don't Want to Be an Idiot

What kind of old person do you want to be when you grow up?

When I was a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child - I was a child! But, now that I am a man, I have put childish things behind me - at least I am trying. No longer do I wonder what I am going to do when I grow up, now I wonder who I will be when I grow up - will I wander? I spend a lot more time thinking and pondering my character than I do my productiveness. Productivity is important, so people tell me, but I have seen too many productive people be idiots when it comes to who they are on the inside.

I don't want to be an idiot when I grow up.

I want to be a man of character to whom people look for wisdom and insight - not professionally but personally. I used to want success and professional respect. I now want my depth of character to be known by those who know me best. As far as my professional career, big whoopdedoo! My kids won't really care how big my church was - they don't even care now. My wife could care less about how good of a preacher I was or am or will be. My friends want to know that I am the same on the inside as I am on the outside.

So, I resolve to be like Christ - that way I won't be an idiot when I grow up.

The only way I know to make sure this happens is to spend most of my time working on the stuff nobody sees. You know - those deepest, darkest places of a man's soul. Better yet, I will let those around me see those places and let God use them to work on me. I won't try and make myself more holy or pure, I will give myself over to God and let Him do it - that way I can't boast when I am old. All I will be able to say is - I just tried not to be an idiot and let God do His thing.

My Mission (and I choose to accept it): Go be a good slave - and don't be an idiot!

Living in a Glass House

When did living in a glass house become a bad thing? Shouldn't we do everything possible to make our lives an open book? Shouldn't the guy down the street know us? Why do we put up privacy fences, live in gated communities, and use the remote for the garage as the key to our house? When was the last time YOU used your front door?

Are we afraid of other people?

I would argue that we are afraid of what other people will find out about us if we were to let them see into our lives. This is the intriguing part of all the reality TV shows. We can look into other people's lives without reciprocity. We can throw stones at their glass house and keep our house free from intrusion!

Who knows you? Who knows that you yell at your kids when you are stressed and tired? Who knows that your marriage is not all that? Who knows that your time with God is a passing glance as you rush out the door? Who knows what is your greatest temptation? Who knows your dreams and despairs?

If you cannot name anyone but your immediate family, you are not living in community. You are removing the windows of your house - sure it is more efficient, but . . . Living in community is to live in a glass house. It is where we learn about ourselves and what we could become. Community is where we share our lives and learn to bless others.

Have you ever noticed that model homes have every light in the house turned on and the drapes and curtains are wide open? That is because nobody lives there. There is a place for modesty and appropriateness - but our lives should be welcoming, inviting, authentic and sincere.

Highways or Interstates?

When you go on a journey accross the country, do you take the interstate or the highway?

Interstates have limited access, there are minimum speed limits, there are rest areas every so many miles, many national chains are ready to serve you with food and gas, and the roadway is generally well maintained. The Results: the disruptions have been minimized, the comfort of travel is elevated, and it is fairly easy to determine your time of arrival (if this is difficult just visit Mapquest - they'll tell you).

Highways, on the other hand, go through small towns, the options for food and gas are limited to mom and pop diners with a gas pump out back, the restrooms are only located in businesses with signs asking that be used only by patrons, farm vehicles going 15 mph have equal rights to the roadway, and the roads are at the bottom of the state's list for improvement: unless they are on the way to a major tourist trap.

Interstates are a symbol of who we have become in America: Comfort and Convenience. We like to plan our days, our lives, our trips, and even our diversions. No longer do we stop into the mom and pop diner. No longer do we take the detour to see the giant ball of string. We want to get off the freeway only to use the restroom and get right back on. We are about the destination instead of the journey.

Success is determined by the goal, and the end now justifies the means. Distractions are no longer embraced. Comfort has become a virtue. Relationships that slow us down are now obstacles that need to be overcomed.

Maybe as a spiritual discipline we should start driving the highways again; just to reprioritize our lives. Maybe we would rediscover the wonder of our children as we embrace the distractions they usher into our lives. Maybe we would begin to understand the bigger issues of life and spirituality in the light of the journey and thus enjoy the journey.

Judge Not?

Can you imagine what would happen if Christians stopped judging?

You might immediately assume that things would get better. But, would they?

I for one appreciate the person who looks at me and says, "What were you thinking? Or, were you?" I appreciate the coach who refuses to patronize me and is willing to tell me that what I did was flat out stupid. This is one reason I love my wife. She is willing to tell me the truth about myself and tell me when I am being an idiot.

That said, if Christians stopped being judgemental, that would be a much better place to hang my hat - if I ever actually wore a hat.

Jesus never said, "Do not judge." (please note the period) However, Jesus did say, "Do not judge or by the same measure you will be judged."

We have to be willing to judge between what is right and what is wrong - especially when it relates to raising children. However, let us quickly admit that we must be willing to be held to the same standard. Will you let your child tell you that you sinned?

The problem is that too many "Christians" refuse to be held to the same standard by which they are judging the world. (The standard is the Bible.)

If we are going to call someone an idiot, we had better make sure that they know that we love them first! Let us follow the example of Christ, who being in very nature God did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made Himself nothing - taking on the very nature of a servant.

Now, what if "Christians" began to serve the "sinners" of this world? Would they have the platform to then say, "That is wrong?" I think we would, but we might end up hanging on a cross next to Jesus.

Defining Prayer

Below are just a few quotes about prayer. A few people asked if I could get a copy to them, so here they are. My favorite is C.S. Lewis' definition.

“Prayer is the whole personality of body, mind and spirit exposing itself to the total influence of God in a continuous offering and a continuous experience of cooperation.” – Thomas Carruth

“Prayer is nothing more than an ongoing and growing love relationship with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.” – Richard Foster

“To pray is to enter into relationship with God.” – Kenneth Leech

“Prayer is either a sheer illusion or a personal contact between embryonic, incomplete persons and the utterly concrete Person. Prayer in the sense of petition, asking for things, is a small part of it; confession and penitence are its threshold, adoration its sanctuary, the presence and vision and enjoyment of God its bread and wine.” – C.S. Lewis

So which is your favorite?

What If?

I don’t think we spend enough time thinking about the “what if.”

What if we pursued God with abandon? What if I loved my wife the way Christ loves the Church? What if I did a load of laundry? What if I worked as though I were actually doing my job for the Lord instead of my boss?

The negative is true as well.

What if I were to disobey the command to honor my father and mother? What if I were to not treat my neighbor as myself? What if I were to cheat just a little at work?

I wonder, do we think anymore, or do we just go through the motions?

What if we were to recapture that sense of wonder that a child has about life? What if were to ponder the consequences to our actions? Children know that they have their whole life ahead of them and know the power of the “what if.” Much to our dismay sometimes, our children want to know “What if . . .” But, we cannot stifle the power of the “what if” in our children or we kill their dreams and worse yet, their sense of wonder about God’s creation. Beyond that, we reduce them to live in the doldrums of life without thinking. Without asking the “What if” a child is doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past and becomes a pawn of their peers.

There is great power in the “What if.” What if we were to live in the “What if?”

Some people think about the “What if” but it makes no difference in their life. They know the potential to making the right decision but they are debilitated by their lack of courage and their fear. The power of the “What if” is only useful for those who actually act upon the “What if.”

What if we were a church that was composed of individuals and families who were submissive to Christ and His desires instead of our own?

Who Cares?

Who Cares About Them?

I recently spent some time speaking with a neighbor of our church who works as the head chef at a refuge for homeless teens. Most of the teens are runaways, some have been kicked out of their homes, and still others have just slipped through the cracks of the system. Why have the teens been kicked out of their homes? The primary reason was because they declared homosexuality as their sexual preference.

Homosexuality - that sin that seems to have climbed to the top of so many self-proclaimed Christians' lists. Sure it is contrary to scripture, but so is gluttony (eating too much). Sure it is not natural according to the rules of natural selection, but so is celibacy. So why have we put it at the top of our list as one of the worst sins?

What if we treated gossips the same way we treated homosexuals? Why are we quick to cast stones at those whose sins are different than our own? Would we give them a stone to cast at us?

What if we loved them? We do not have to agree with their agenda, nor do we have to condone their sin. In fact we should clearly state what we believe in midst of the confusion regarding their agenda and even vote accordingly. But, we have to love them.

So what should be our compelling message? I think it should be clearly communicated that we all: homosexuals, gossips, rebels, etc. stand before God as condemned people. But, because Christianity is the only fair faith, we can all be forgiven by the free gift of Jesus - the only sufficient sacrifice for our sin. Remember that we are not declared righteous because of what we have or have not done. We are only declared righteous because we have received a free gift from God.

A Desperate Community

Desperate People Living The Journey Together

We love to be labeled self-sufficient, self-motivated, and independent. Why? What would happen if we lived as desperate people who need each other in order to live life? Would we be labeled differently?

Needy, Dependent, Desperate.

If we were dependent upon one another, would we become healthier emotionally, spiritually, and physically? I think so. Would you let me live in my self-pity and self-absorbtion? Or, would you call me out as such? Would you let me continue in a self-destructive pattern that not only destroys self but also those to whom I am the closest? Would you let me continue down a path that leads to destruction or would you show me a better way?

To Live the Journey Together is impart kindness to one another. To call one another out. To punch someone in the nose to help them recognize their folly. To call a spade a spade and a sin sin.

But, we live in a country that values independence, liberty, freedom, individuality, personal space and self. So, I will go on trying to surround myself with a community that values higher ideals such as Desperation, Dependence, and Need.